I have never enjoyed the distance aspect of long distance relationships. I guess I’m blessed that I haven’t had to endure too many of those moments. There has only ever been one man that I was head over heels for while being hundreds of miles apart. He’s now my husband.
The Home Court Advantage
If you’re a military spouse, slope worker, college student, or are in a profession that keeps you pretty cozy with the airlines; you know this struggle all too well. The struggle to stay connected and present when you are what seems like worlds apart.
It’s not that it’s hard to love long distance, it’s just a bit harder to show. Many of the traditional behaviors we use to show love are physical. We don’t have that advantage in a long distance relationship.
When my husband is here I can kiss his cheek, hold his hand, and rub his feet (some of these happen more often than others). I can look into his eyes as I compliment his character, his appearance, or the sounds of his oh so soothing voice. I can play video games with him, I can make his favorite dinner followed by His favorite dessert. I can have his socks folded and our home semi decent. I can surprise him with a special something from his favorite store.
I can love him in so many ways. Distance changes that.
When You Can’t Speak Your Spouse’s Love Language
Have you ever heard of the 5 Love Languages? Gary Chapman wrote a book called “The 5 Love Languages” and it outlines 5 basic ways that humans receive and give love.
There’s physical touch, words of affirmation, quality time, acts of service, and gifts. I’ll be sharing more about these love languages in a later post, so please do keep a look out. My reason for mentioning them now is to paint you a small picture.
Loving from a distance requires us to stretch these languages across borders. It that transition from greeting your husband with a smile on his face when he comes home from work, to staying up until an unreasonable hour to call him at a somewhat reasonable hour for him (because time zones love to play with us like that), hoping he is awake to pick up, and when he does pick up; it’s finding those perfect words to share your heart and open the door for him to share his.
The transition is THAT BIG!! And for many, it’s not always easy to overcome.
So how do you ensure the love of your life knows just how much he means to you while he is away? When distance starts challenging your ability to speak your spouse’s love language, it might be time to try something new. Here are 10 ways to love your spouse from a distance.
10 Ways to Show Your Husband Love Even When He’s Miles Away
1. Send Your Love Letters by Snail Mail.
I’m a writer. I could write all day. I love writing letters and I love getting them. With the hustle and bustle and chaos that likes to come and go from day to day, there is almost nothing more enjoyable to me than to get home after a long day and find a letter in the mail. A letter says, “I love you, I was thinking about you, and I just wanted you to know.” A letter allows me to have something to look back on later on in the week when my car tire goes flat, I lost the outline for my next writing assignment, the kids are driving me up a wall, and I need a pick-me-up.
I’ve always thought this “Letters to Open When..” concept. It’s really a sweet idea. And I know if I got letters like these, my day would be MADE.
2. Make It A Phone Date
Phone dates. Those are never a bad idea. I know, I know; this one can be a hassle. We talked about it earlier. But hey, at the very least thank goodness for voicemail right?! In fact, sometimes I prefer voicemail. Call me sappy but there were days when I would hit replay on the voicemail messages just to hear my husband’s voice again.
3. Send A Text
Some people would argue that text messages aren’t as personal. I disagree with that. Something as simple as “Watching our favorite movie and thinking of you,” can actually be really good to read in a message. Or maybe even a quick, “Hope you’re having an incredible day!”
Want to really show him you love him? Write down any big days he has planned while he’s away (tests, presentations, sports games, military drills, etc) and wish him luck on the big day! Keep the big moments big and important.
You can also use fun apps like Instagram or Sanpchat to share some special moments with your man. But please ladies, be classy while you’re at it. ;p
I know we like to think we can handle everything on our own, but the fact of the matter is even if we could, God doesn’t want us to. He doesn’t want us to deal with hardships or enjoy good times without Him. So invite Him into the relationship. Pray for your spouse daily. Pray that God would bless all they put their hands to, that they would walk in favor, that the Lord would guard his heart and be a shield about your relationship. Pray the same for yourself.
5. Mail A Hug
I think this is a really cute idea. It’s a bit crafty too which is always fun. You can either buy or make a throw pillow and decorate it with a favorite quote, memory, photo, etc and send it o your special guy’s home away from home. When he need’s a hug he’s got a piece of you nearby to cuddle up with. Too cheesy? I say there’s no such thing 😉
6. Send A Care Package
Grab a list of your man’s favorites (foods, snacks, candy, books, movies, games, maybe add one of those letters we mentioned earlier?) and send them his way. Nothing says, “I care,” like a care package.
7. Take Care of Yourself
It can be pretty easy to get caught up in the wait and let yourself “go.” Fight that. Wake up, get dressed, do your hair, stay in shape, be productive, get rest, and smile every now and then. Remember, you are his most prized possession. Take care of yourself.
8. Start a Public Countdown
This is really fun to do on social platforms like Facebook. Create a countdown on your page and count down the days until the glorious return. This is also a fun way to get other people pumped and excited and a way for you to feel supported in your relationship.
9. Take and Share Photos
Fill your home with memories of you and your special someone. Take pictures or videos and show your spouse that even though he’s away, he is still the safe haven you are coming home to every night.
Send him off with a special framed photo for his bedside. And you could even get a matching photo for yours.
10. Talk About Him
One of the best ways to remind yourself how you feel about someone is to talk about them. So when you get the chance to brag about how incredible your man is, do it. And then tell him about it! It’s a great way to remind him how much he means to you. It’s an even better way to show he is not forgotten.
Ok, so you’ve heard my 10 tips. What would you add to this list! Drop your answer in the comments below!