I don’t have any daughters. I’m blessed to be a mom and I absolutely adore my boys, but I’ll be honest never in a million years did I imagine myself being the mom of ALL boys.
My whole life I’ve always pictured myself growing up with a daughter; doing the mother-daughter teas, mother-daughter dances, mother-daughter retreats. I always dreamed of sitting them down and having all “the talks.” You know, the dating talk, the self-worth talks, the marriage talk, the sex talk; all the relationship talks. I know that might seem weird to some, but I’ve always been the mentoring type. Those conversations are what I live for.
Well, now our family is complete and I am still the only lady in the house. So I might not get to have this conversation with daughters of my own but I get to have this conversation with other women, which is just as rewarding.
And you know, It’s not just a discussion we should be having with our daughters; it’s a discussion that women should be having with each other, fathers should be teaching their sons, and men should be holding themselves accountable to. It’s too important to go unmentioned. So let’s get to it.
4 Truths to Know About You Before Getting Into A Relationship
1. Know Your Identity.
Listen, we all love a good compliment every now and then. I know they paint a smile on your face and put a little extra pep (for lack of a better word) in your step, and even make you feel like you belong. We all want that, but Love, that is no reason to enter into a relationship.
You can get all of that without being in a dating/romantic relationship. You just need to whose you are and the rest will follow.
So whose are you?
Well, let me tell you. You are a daughter of the King, created in His likeness (His image); royalty, an heir to His throne. Chosen. You are God’s masterpiece.
Before you became anything else you were His. God’s given you such an incredible identity! So claim it. Claim your crown. And before you give some lucky dude the honor of being in a relationship with you (hopefully forever), make sure he fully recognizes whose you are.
2. Know Your Worth.
If you are looking for a man or a relationship to give you some sort of value or worth, you are looking in the wrong place. This type of romantic relationship is not where you worth originated from. Sure you’ll come across a man or two who makes you feel beautiful, smart, and treasures you like a rare gem; but honey, you were all those things BEFORE He came into the picture.
Yes, you are those things (smart, beautiful, strong, capable, lovely, and so on); but you are those things because God said so. And He has placed more value on you than any person or relationship ever could. So much so, that He sent His Son to take the blame for all the wrong we have ever done and instead of punishment, He has offered us life with Him. Forever.
So, darling, the weight of your worth is heavy. Just know that.
3. Know Your Priorities
Every relationship goes through stages. They start at point “A” (typically) and work their way through the alphabet. The deeper and more intimate the relationship becomes, the more of a priority it becomes. So ask yourself this; do you have time to dedicate to this relationship? Are you willing to make it a priority?
And flipping the equation a little here’s something else to think about.
My husband and I started seeing each other while I was in college. And the more time I spent with him, the more I wanted to be with him, and eventually, He became my biggest priority; And as much as I hate to admit it… He even became more of a priority to me than my relationship with Jesus. As a Christian, that is a dangerous place to be in.
Even in marriage, your relationship with God comes second to none. He is always the priority.
4. Know Your Boundaries
There is so much to say about this topic, I simply can’t write it all in this one space. So we’re moving this conversation to another post. Let’s step into my new series and chat about 4 Boundaries You Need to Set BEFORE Stepping into A Dating Relationship.
I’m curious to know, what advice would you give to young ladies before they enter into a relationship? Or for those of you who have “been there, done that,” what advice would you give your younger self if you had the chance to?