Would you believe that the WORST dating advice you could possibly give a person is some of the most popular advice dished out today? This isn’t just advice that comes from a counselor, mentor, or good friends. It isn’t even confined to just advice anymore, it’s a philosophy that’s been etched into the lifestyle of young ladies around the world. You’ll see it in (almost) every TV drama series, reality TV show, close to every top radio single, and especially in the movies; we place in front of ourselves. It’s shaping perspectives, expectations, and boundaries even before our dating and marriage relationships begin.
It’s the well intended, but extremely misguided, advice to follow your heart.
“Follow your heart.” Sound advice or a horrible mistake?
I’ve heard many people, even Christian people, use the phrase “follow your heart;” thinking they are giving sound Biblical advice. The reality is that philosophy isn’t biblical at all. In fact, the Bible guides us in the exact opposite direction, telling us in Jeremiah 17:9 (nkjv)
“The heart is deceitful about all things and desperately wicked: who can know it?”
When Your Heart Gets Emotional
Our hearts can lead us into all kinds of mayhem if we follow them blindly. Our hearts are not logical organs. They’re fed through our emotions. That’s why we see so many people struggle with the concept of love and “falling in and out of love.” They’re letting their emotion driven heart run their relationship and make choices for them, rather than sitting in the drivers seat themselves and driving offensively.
When your heart is running the show you are bound to run into some major problems. And if following your heart becomes a habit, you’re bound to face some heavy and extremely unnecessary hurt in your life. Let me give you three reason, real fast, why following your heart is a poor idea.
3 Reasons Why Follow Your Heart Is Poor Advice
3. Emotions can only produce a selfish love.
Would you be surprised if I told you that God’s definition of love has the exact opposite effect? Based on 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 we can conclude that love is intentional. It can only be accomplished by sound choice and is not a simply a feeling. It is truthful in every aspect of the word and it lives to serve others. This is the kind of love we should lead our lives with. But this kind of love is not derived from our hearts.
So If My Heart Can’t Shouldn’t Lead, Then What Should?
We talked about this some when we were answering the question, “Does the man I’m dating have to be a Christian?” If you’re living your Christian life with Jesus as your foundation and your relationship with Him at the top of your list, you are setting yourself up for a beautiful dating/courting and eventually marriage relationship. Your relationship with God will pave the way for everything in your life.
So is your heart fit to lead? On its own, absolutely not. It needs to be filtered through the Word of God and lead by your relationship with Jesus. That relationship is what will guide you in every decision that you make; major and minor. This isn’t just advice for you dating relationship. Unlike the poor advice that inspired this post, this philosophy actually should be etched into the lives of young ladies everywhere.