5 Secrets to Keeping the Joy In Your Marriage @mrslotanner

THE SECRET to building a fruitful, joyful, life-long marriage. http://www.lotanner.com/keeping-joy-in-your-marriage @mrslotanner

I think it’s pretty safe to say that when it comes to marriage we’ve all been there. We’ve all had those days where our joy is inflated and love is overflowing. That “can’t eat can’t sleep, reach for the stars, over the fence, world series kind of stuff.”

And then there are the days when you struggle to feel connected. You struggle to find happiness, unity, and foundation.

I know I’ve been both places and probably a thousand different places in between. I think we can all agree that the best place to be in a marriage is on the joyful side of it. When that joy is missing it’s vital that you find a way to revive it!

THE SECRET to building a fruitful, joyful, life-long marriage. http://www.lotanner.com/keeping-joy-in-your-marriage @mrslotanner

THE SECRET to Keeping Joy In Your Marriage

Not too long ago I had the honor of connecting with Casey and her audience over at  True Agape and sharing with them 5 secrets that helped my husband and I break out of our daily routine (and even create some new ones), reconnect, and bring some clean fun into our marriage.

Here’s A Quick Refresher of the conversation we had about 5 Secrets to Keeping Joy In Your Marriage (paraphrasing of course):


5 Secrets to Keeping Joy In Your Marriage

1. Get Creative With Your Date Nights

2. Know Your Spouses Love Language

3. Learn to Respectfully Disagree (commonly stated, “agree to disagree”)

4. Be An Encourager

5. Be Grateful (and show it!)

365 Ways to Ignite the Spark In Your Marriage http://thedatingdivas.affiliatedash.com/a/365ITS/mrslotanner @mrslotanner

All good tips right?  Well, today, we’re going to talk about THE SECRET to keeping joy in your marriage. It’s the 6th tip I’m sharing with you, but it should have been the first. This tip is foundational for building a solid marriage relationship that honors God. You ready to talk about it? Alright, here it goes!

The One Thing You NEED To Create A Marriage That Thrives

By now I’m sure you’ve guessed what it is. That last sentence was a huge hint. The best way to find and keep joy in your marriage is to recognize your relationship with God as the center and root of your marriage because true joy comes from Him.

There are a lot of ways that you can work to better your relationship with your spouse, but until you learn to place and keep God on the throne in your life and marriage, the marriage you have will always be lacking. It may not be horrible, but it will still be lacking.

So how do you make that change? How do you start over?  How do you make God the center of your marriage?

3 Ways For You and Your Husband to Move Towards God Together


The Power of a Praying® Wife

1. Pray.

Pray for your husband. Pray for yourself. Prayer for your marriage.

Your marriage is too important to go without praying for. Prayer invites God to work in our lives, to teach us, to transform us, and to mold us into something fruitful. I don’t know about you, but I want that for my marriage. I want my husband to be a bold, kind, and courageous man who honors God no matter what hardships he faces. I want to be a kind, gentle, bold, and loving wife who honors God no matter what hardships I face. And I want us together to be a couple to loves God, honors God, and can build, cultivate, and accomplish all that God has for us in this life.



I can tell you this much for sure, that is NEVER going to happen in my own strength. Or his own strength. Or even both of our strengths combined. We need Jesus in our lives. It’s Him who gave us our identity, it’s Him we made our marriage covenant with, and it’s only Him who can lead us where He has purposed us to go.

2. Learn how to study and apply biblical principles to your life.

I’ve heard it said before that the Bible is like an instruction manual. And to an extent I agree with that. 2 Timothy 3:16-17 tells us,

“All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.”

There you have it, clear as day. The Bible was meant to equip us for the good works God has planned for us. That means if we want to know how to honor God with how we live, we need to be in the Bible – reading, studying, and APPLYING it’s truths to our lives.

Simple & Sweet: A Bible Study Guide For Women @mrslotanner

3. Make “Team Work” A Lifestyle

You don’t always have to have all the same opinions, but when it comes to your marriage being able to function as a unit is essential. There will always conflict or the opportunity to create it. But if you truly want to honor God with your marriage, you’ll learn that being unified and working as a team in partnership with God is the best way to do that.

Set boundaries to protect your relationship with God and your relationship with each other. Stay a team.

Resources to Help You Get There:

Boundaries in MarriageMoney and Marriage God's WayKeep Your Love On: Connection Communication And Boundaries100 Ways To Love Your Husband: the life-long journey of learning to love each other

Once that foundation is laid, you can build off of it with these 5 Secrets to Keeping Joy In Your Marriage. Enjoy!

Do you have a secret tip that didn’t make it on the list? Inquiring minds want to know what it is! 

Newsletter Signature @mrslotanner

7 thoughts on “The Secret To Keeping Joy In Your Marriage”

  1. I loved your 5 tips! Especially “be a great encourager.” I think a huge key to an intimate, fulfilling marriage is that your husband knows you are his BIGGEST fan and supporter. It’s hard sometimes to remember that that’s not always obvious, but I have to intentionally communicate that to him, in ways that are meaningful to him (like love languages.) Thanks for sharing, Alonda! Glad I found your blog thru the Peony Project!

    1. Thanks Lucy! I’m with you, sometimes it totally slips my mind, the fact that my husband may need to hear or see that I am his biggest supporter. I always assume he knows. But sometimes he needs that reminder just as much as I do.

  2. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts with us! I loved this topic as it is something I am personally working on right now in my marriage. I shared this post in our monthly newsletter that went out too!

Join the conversation! Leave a Reply.

error: Content is protected !!
%d bloggers like this: