I have never enjoyed the distance aspect of long distance relationships. I guess I’m blessed that I haven’t had to endure too many of those moments. There has only ever been one man that I was head over heels for while being hundreds of miles apart. He’s now my husband.

10 fun and practical ways to keep your long distance marriage strong. http://www.lotanner.com/long-distance-marriage @mrslotanner


The Home Court Advantage

If you’re a military spouse, slope worker, college student, or are in a profession that keeps you pretty cozy with the airlines; you know this struggle all too well. The struggle to stay connected and present when you are what seems like worlds apart.

It’s not that it’s hard to love long distance, it’s just a bit harder to put that love into action. Many of the traditional behaviors we use to show love are physical. We don’t have that advantage in a long distance relationship.

When my husband is here I can kiss his cheek, hold his hand, and rub his feet (some of these happen more often than others). I can look into his eyes as I compliment his character, his appearance, or the sounds of his oh so soothing voice. I can play video games with him, I can make his favorite dinner followed by His favorite dessert. I can have his socks folded and our home semi-decent. I can surprise him with a special something from his favorite store.

I can love him in so many ways. Distance changes that.

When You Can’t Speak Your Spouse’s Love Language

Have you ever heard of the 5 Love Languages? Gary Chapman wrote a book called “The 5 Love Languages” and it outlines 5 basic ways that humans receive and give love.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

Loving from a distance requires us to stretch these languages across borders. It’s that transition from greeting your husband with a smile on his face when he comes home from work, to staying up until an unreasonable hour to call him at a somewhat reasonable hour for him (because time zones love to play with us like that), hoping he  is awake to pick up, and when he does pick up; it’s finding those perfect words to share your heart and open the door for him to share his.

The transition is THAT BIG!! And for many, it’s not always easy to overcome. When distance starts challenging your ability to speak your spouse’s love language, these ideas can help you keep your marriage strong.

 10 Ways to Show Your Husband Love Even When He’s Miles Away

1. Send him off RIGHT.

Chances are there are hundreds of thoughts in your mind that you wish you had the words to share right then and there before he boards that plane and is on his way. On that other side of the coin, day to day there are things he’s going to want to hear from you that you won’t be around to say. So why not send him off prepared with all those perfect thoughts and words captured in a series of “open when” letters – the perfect sentiments for when he needs a laugh, a hug, or support after a bad day!

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“Open when you need to hear how much I love you!…”

2. Keep the Text Messages Coming!

Some people would argue that text messages aren’t as personal. I disagree with that. Something as simple as “Watching our favorite movie and thinking of you,” can actually be really good to read in a message. Or maybe even a quick, “Hope you’re having an incredible day!”

love text messages for your spouse

Want to really show him you love him? Write down any big occasions he has planned while he’s away (tests, presentations, sports games, military drills, etc) and wish him luck on the big day! Keep the big moments big and important.

You can also use fun apps like Instagram or Sanpchat to share some special moments with your man. But please ladies, be classy while you’re at it. ;p

3. Make It A Phone Date

Phone dates. Those are never a bad idea. I know, I know; this one can be a hassle. We talked about it earlier. But hey, at the very least thank goodness for voicemail right?! In fact, sometimes I prefer voicemail. Call me sappy but there were days when I would hit replay on the voicemail messages just to hear my husband’s voice again.

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4. Pray

I know we like to think we can handle everything on our own, but the fact of the matter is even if we could, God doesn’t want us to. He doesn’t want us to deal with hardships or enjoy good times without Him. So invite Him into the relationship. Pray for your spouse daily. Pray that God would bless all they put their hands to, that they would walk in favor, that the Lord would guard his heart and be a shield about your relationship. Pray the same for yourself.

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5. Mail A Hug

I think this is a really cute idea. It’s a bit crafty too which is always fun. You can either buy or make a throw pillow and decorate it with a favorite quote, memory, photo, etc and send it to your special guy’s home away from home. When he need’s a hug he’s got a piece of you nearby to cuddle up with. Too cheesy? I say there’s no such thing 😉

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6. Send A Care Package

Grab a list of your man’s favorites (foods, snacks, candy, books, movies, games, maybe add one of those letters we mentioned earlier?) and send them his way! Nothing says, “I care,” like a care package.

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7. Take Care of Yourself

It can be pretty easy to get caught up in the wait and let yourself “go.” Fight that. Wake up, get dressed, do your hair, stay in shape, be productive, get rest, and smile every now and then. Remember, you are his most prized possession. Take care of yourself.

8. Start a Public Countdown

This is really fun to do on social platforms like Facebook. Create a countdown on your page and count down the days until the glorious return. This is also a fun way to get other people pumped and excited and a way for you to feel supported in your relationship.You could even take it a step further and plan a surprise date night or party to celebrate the day of his return.

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9. Take and Share Photos

Fill your home with memories of you and your special someone. Take pictures or videos and show your spouse that even though he’s away, he is still the safe haven you are coming home to every night.

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Send him off with a special framed photo for his bedside. And you could even get a matching photo for your bedside too.

10. Talk About Him

One of the best ways to remind yourself how you feel about someone is to talk about them. So when you get the chance to brag about how incredible your man is, do it. And then tell him about it! It’s a great way to remind him how much he means to you. It’s an even better way to show he is not forgotten.

Ok, so you’ve heard my 10 tips. What would you add to this list! Drop your answer in the comments below!

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11 thoughts on “10 Ways to Keep Long Distance Marriage Strong”

  1. What a great list! I’ve never been separated from my husband, but I’ve had two kids go away to college and a lot of these tips apply to that situation also. Modern technology sure helps!

  2. These are all good tips. I really like the countdown idea. Long distance relationships would be really difficult!

    1. They can be tough! I’m not going to lie though, I loved reading through all the hand written letters when my man got home! Made it all worth it!

  3. These are some wonderful ideas you can do even when you hubs isn’t away! Lo, you always inspire and encourage! I’m glad we have connected 🙂

  4. Ooh #7 is very important! We just read about that in a book called “For Women Only”, she says the reason not to let go is that our husbands find it attractive when we put our best effort forward. We represent them (and their decision to marry us) and so we shouldn’t be sloppy. It’s not a size or a weight, it’s an attitude that says, “I’m putting forth the best me because my husband is worth it.” Thanks for these tips!

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