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Replacing flattery with Words of Affirmation. @mrslotanner #lacedwithpurpose

Did you know as a wife your words carry a lot of weight? Sure this is the truth in almost any circumstance but especially as a wife. The way you talk to your husband has the ability to shape your entire marriage. Just think about that for a second.

I’ll be honest, I didn’t realize how much power my words held until I read the book Words That Hurt, Words That Heal by Joseph Telushkin.  Knowing what I know, I think it’s really important that while we talk about the 5 Love Languages we take some time to talk about Words of Affirmation

How to honor your spouse using Words of Affirmation. @mrslotanner #lacedwithpurpose

If your husband’s love language is Words of Affirmation it means he is looking to your words encourage, compliment and AFFIRM him. That is how he best receive love from you.  It’s really not as complicated as that last sentence made it sound. Your husband (hopefully) already knows you love him. If his love language is words of affirmation, what he is really needing from you, is to here WHY you love him.

The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts

God Said It First

I don’t know why it took me reading a book other than the Bible to realize how real the power behind our words really is. ESPECIALLY  in the context of a marriage relationship (which is what we are addressing today). Don’t take my word for it though. Let’s have a look together. 

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold on settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Proverbs 18:21

Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”Colossians 4:6

God makes it very clear that our words matter and that there are consequences that come with how we choose to speak. Have you ever considered how those consequences might affect your marriage? Or the man you are married to? 

Not Just Flattery

And I’m not talking about just throwing sweet nothings in his ear all day and thinking you’re filling his love tank and your job is done. This is bigger. 

This is about using your words to SPEAK LIFE into your husband, becoming a source of edification and encouragement; using your words to show him that he is honored and adored. It’s about allowing your words to be the water that allows your marriage friendship to bloom. 

So what kinds of speech do we use? What kinds of things do we say?

Let’s start with what you admire. What about him made you think he was the one? What good things about him caught your attention? Have you shared any of that with him lately?

What about the things you value about him? His morals. His kindness. His dedication to you or your kids. His love for Jesus and commitment to leading your family in the Lord.

And then there are the physical more sensual things. His strength. His stature. His mannerisms, voice, and countenance. 

Those are all things about him that I’m sure he’d take great pride in hearing. But let’s not limit ourselves to talk about him. Let’s remind him hgow much we like doing life WITH him. 

Have you told him you’re thankful for the life you share together; the Netflix and chill nights, out on the town nights, the family dinners, the blessing of keeping a home together, raising kids together? Think about the dreams you’ve dreamt up together. The conversations you get to have. Remind him of these things! Remind him that doing them WITH HIM is what makes them worth-while. 

There are so many ways to say, “I love you.” If you’re feeling stuck and need a bit of inspiration try working with some of these starter phrases and use the idea below to help you get those affirmations flowing 🙂

50 Ideas to Try If His Love Language is Words of Affirmation

5 Phrases to Get You Started:

1. I love it when you …

2. I appreciate how you …

3. It was really helpful when you …

4. I love you because … BONUS Save all those I love you’s for and craft an “I Love You Because…” Box! Perfect for the men who also value gifts!

5. Thank you for…

5 Ways to “Sweeten” the Delivery

6. Send your kind words via text message.

7. Write a love letter.

8. Leave him a kind voicemail.

9. Compliment him in front of other people. I bet you anything this will get a smile on his face and he’ll be thinking about your words long after the night is over.

10. Sneak a sweet little love note where he’s sure to see it. I like to keep cute little sticky notes like these around the house so when an opportunity comes to surprise him, I am well prepared!


40 Affirmations To Uplift Your Husband

11. Thank him for the work he does for your family.

12. Tell him when you’re proud of him and WHY.

13. Verbally support his ambitions

14. Let him know that you’re grateful he’s yours.

15. When he’s being helpful, point it out to him and thank him for it.

16. Compliment his appearance.

17. Let him know you’re still crushin’ on him.

18. Use nicknames when you talk to each other.

19. Tell him you love him.

20. Tell him about a time he made you smile.

21. Thank him for being there when you need him.

22. Let him know when you’re thinking about him.

23. Ask him for his input.

24. Ask him what makes him feel loved.

25. Compliment his character

Powerful One-liners

26. I support you.

27. I believe in you.

28. I admire you.

29. I look up to you.

30. I respect you.

31. I’m proud of you.

32. You set such a good example for our kids.

33. I hope our kids will be _____________ like you.

34. You’re so thoughtful.

35. I value your input.

36. I can’t imagine life without you.

37. Thank you for building a life with me.

38. I’m so lucky your mine.

39. You’re so handsome.

40. You’re a great provider!

41. Thank you for fixing that!

42. You’re so smart!

43. I love your sense of humor.

44. I learn so much from you.

45. Thanks for helping around the house!

46. You’re so sexy 😉

47. I trust your judgment.

48. You’re a good friend.

49. Thanks for being faithful.

50. Our kids are lucky you’re their father.

Actions Speak Louder Than Words

You see how that works? And honestly. It’s a lot of fun thinking up affirmations like these! And what makes them even better is the fact that your husband is going to cherish these words so much because they come from you! But remember friends, actions speak louder than words! If you aren’t backing your words with your actions the words will get lost in translation. So make sure both your words and action are spreading the same message! 

What creative ways do you plan to use Words of Affirmation in your marriage? I’d love to hear about them! Drop your ideas in the comments.


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50 starter phrases, one-liners, and creative ideas you can use to show your husband you love him if his primary love language is Words of Affirmation. @mrslotanner

7 thoughts on “50 Ways To Love Your Husband Using Words of Affirmation”

  1. Why is it we wives expect compliments and affirmation, yet we are slow to give them to our husbands? I am grateful to have my man, and I tell him (and show him) how much I appreciate what he does often.

  2. I don’t know about you, but for me words of affirmation towards men wasn’t modelled for me. I find it difficult now, but I’m trying because this is what my man needs from me and I want to see him smile more!

    1. Belinda, that’s so awesome that you’re putting in the effort! There are many who can relate to this same circumstamce, myself included! I love your heart.

  3. Wonderful post and tips! We could all use more words of affirmation and we know how they make us feel more assured. But sometimes our husband falls off our radar in this way. I know I need to be more intentional with my words. Saying thank you and simply “I believe in you” carries so much power.

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