This post may contain affiliate links. View our full disclosure for more info.

What does it matter right? He doesn’t have to believe in Jesus to love you.. does he? Well, no.. and Yes. The fact that the man you are dating isn’t a Christian may not have a whole lot to do with His capacity to love. Or maybe it does. But instead of evaluating whether this man is “good enough” for you or not, we are going to take a look at this question from a different perspective. Today we are going to answer the questions, “Does the man I’m dating HAVE to be a Christian?”

Does The Man I'm Dating Have to Be A Christian_Pinterest Image_mrslotanner

Does the Man I’m Dating Have To Be A Christian?

I’m a big believer in the philosophy that you don’t know love until you’ve experienced it. And there isn’t love out there greater than the love that Jesus has for me and you. When you made the decision to be a Christian, to live your life fully committed to God, at that moment you placed your relationship with Jesus at the top of your list. He became your First Love. And from the day that relationship with Him began, you have had to make choices and set boundaries that protected His place as the Love of Your Life.

Walking A Tight-Rope

Recommended Read:

Boundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your LifeBoundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your LifeBoundaries Updated and Expanded Edition: When to Say Yes, How to Say No To Take Control of Your Life


Some of those boundaries are set just above the surface. They don’t require too much effort but are important just the same.  Things like the type of music you listen to, the sort of movies you allow yourself to be entertained by, or what venue get the pleasure of enjoying your company on a Saturday night out.

Other boundaries are going to be a bit tighter. They may pull at your heartstrings for a time or make you feel like you are walking a tight-rope. They may cause you to miss out on things you think you want or things that you once considered fun. People will make fun of them and question them. Heck, you might even question them every once in a while. And on occasion (because let’s face it, we’re only human and about as imperfect as they come) we even tip-toe over the line to see if it stings. If it does we’re quick to jump right back to what we consider safe. But often times we find ourselves pushing just a little bit further, wondering how far we can go without causing damage. How far are you willing to go to protect your First Love?

Where is This Man Leading You?

A relationship with Jesus changes everything. It is all-encompassing. It’s at the root of our habits; it shapes our behavior, choices, and perspectives. Our relationship with Jesus influences every area of our life.

For a Christian woman the intent of dating is to nurture a relationship with not just any man, but a man that she is confident she could spend forever with. A man she isn’t afraid to say, “I do” to;   to bless extravagantly, and serve wholeheartedly. A man she can trust to lead her and any family that may come along down the line, in a life that first and foremost honors God.

Side Note: If you’re if you’re thinking right, “Sheesh, lady, get with the times. Marriage isn’t like that anymore.” You’re right. Because far too many Christians were walking that tight-rope and slipped right off. Enter, present-day America with a wicked high divorce rate.In order to lead in a relationship that puts God first, the man you are dating NEEDS to have a relationship with God. He needs to be rooted in God’s Word, He needs to have a heart for the things God loves, He needs to be able to hear when God speaks to Him, and have the desire to follow where God leads Him (which is ultimately where He will lead your family.

When God Is Not His Cup of Tea

I think it’s pretty safe to say that as a (future) Christian wife, you want to be able to stand by your man. You want to be able to encourage him in his dreams and walk with him, support him wherever he goes. This is where the conflict arises. What happens when your husband tries to lead you to a place God has told you not to go? Who do you follow? Which relationship would you choose to protect?

You may also appreciate: Why “Follow Your Heart Is Poor Advice”

Why Follow Your Heart Is Poor Advice @mrslotanner

What happens when you start having conversations about money and he encourages you away from tithing? What happens when he gets lost in the world’s influences and begins to disconnect from your Godly influence? Or when his parenting styles contradict the Word of God?

Or worse than any of that, maybe your marriage works out great!.. until one day you wake up realizing you’ve done a lot of good, but have missed out on a lot of God.

The One Thing He Lacks…

There are a lot of great men out there who aren’t Christians. They know how to respect a woman; how to honor, compliment, encourage, and to an extent even love her. But “this one thing they lack,” they aren’t leading you (nor are they equipped to lead you) further in the direction of your First Love. And that is your priority (See Revelation 2:1-7).

So when it comes down to it, does the man you are dating HAVE to be a Christian? As far as I know, it’s not written in stone tablets anywhere (unless maybe it falls under the category of putting no one else before God). But should he be a Christian? Absolutely!

16 thoughts on “Does the Man I’m Dating Have to Be A Christian?”

  1. Lo, this post is so timely! I completely agree with you, but I know it’s not a popular view today. Thanks for taking a stand for biblical truth! 🙂
    Jen @ Being Confident of This

  2. Yes, yes and yes! I don’t want to follow someone who is just crossing in my lane to exit off. We definitely need to be headed in the same direction!

  3. Yes, we should definitely be looking for men who are devoted to God. If they aren’t leading us towards him, they will lead us away in one form or another. Such a great post.

  4. My standard use to be that he had to go to church. I learned quickly that was not enough! Someone who isn’t a Christian will most likely bring you down, especially with today’s dating expectations. We should be looking for a godly man. If he isn’t a Christian, it will be impossible for him to be like God.

    1. That’s so true! God’s love for us is the greatest. It’s hard to replicate a love you haven’t received. Which is why our husbands need to know Jesus, and why we need to know Jesus. So we can love like He loves!

    1. Thanks for your feedback! I know it’s a question that gets asked often. And I know there are so many opinions on it. It’s important to me to be able to share in a light that points people towards Jesus. Thanks for reading 🙂

Join the conversation! Leave a Reply.