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Know your identity, know your Worth, and know your priorities. These are three of the four truths we’ve been chatting about most recently in my article “4 Truths to Know About You BEFORE Getting Into A Relationship.

Today we are going to tackle truth #4. Ladies, let’s talk about boundaries.

4 Boundaries You Need to Set BEFORE Stepping Into A Relationship_Blog Cover Photo

You Are Worth Protecting!

The simple truth of it is this; you are worth protecting and I mean that in every sense of the word. Your soul, your heart;  you as a being are worth protecting. Why? Because you carry value as a Daughter of the King. It goes back to truths number one and two; knowing who you are and knowing the value God has placed on you. That is how we are called to love. We are supposed to look at people in the same light and love that God does. We see them how He sees them. And God sees us as precious, priceless daughters.

He says you are worth protecting. Enter: the gospel story, the foundation of our faith. God loves us so much that He sent His only son to take the punishment of our wrongs and protect us from an eternity separated from Him.So there’s no question about it. You are worth protecting, and that is where setting boundaries will come into play.

God created boundaries with both your heart and His in mind. They were meant to be a form of protection. But they can only protect us if we stick to them. So before you enter into a dating relationship it’s important that you know what your boundaries are, where you need to stand firm, and where you can compromise. So let’s talk about four boundaries you should set in stone before getting into a dating/romantic relationship.

4 Boundaries to Set BEFORE You Start Dating

Note: This post is 1 of a 4 part series.

1. Spiritual Boundaries.

So listen, I know it’s almost impossible to restrict ourselves to only Christian friendships. And as a point of influence for God’s kingdom, we would never want to do that anyway. But when it comes to dating someone and getting romantically involved with them, the standard is different.

Whoever the lucky man pursuing you is, He needs to be a Christian. He needs to be on the same page as you when it comes to his relationship with God. I’ll put it like this. A marriage that is not rooted in Christ is lacking. It is a marriage less than what God designed it to be.

The truth of the matter is that the love we share in our marriage is intended to be a reflection of the love that God has for us. That’s why when we read in the Bible about God’s relationship with the church (aka Christ followers) we are referred to as the Bride and God as the Bridegroom. That’s about as intimate a love as there can ever be and God uses it to set the pace for our marriage relationships.

He wants us to love in that same manner (see Ephesians 5:22).

Why It Matters

I think it’s worth noting that, your choice to protect and honor your relationship with God will be the root of every decision you make both individually and as a married couple. In addition, they’ll shape most every interaction you have from this point forward. From your expectations of each other as husband and wife to every form of intimacy (sexual, physical, spiritual, and so on), to finances, parenting and discipline, to relationships with friendships and family, and even on to things like your career and education.

This is not an area we want to compromise in. God gives us that instruction in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?” 

One of the wisest choices you will make in your life is choosing to be with someone who is going to lead you, encourage you, and walk willingly with you in whichever direction God leads them in. You can eliminate a world of hurt and future conflict by setting boundaries that make Jesus the foundation you build your relationships off of.

Try setting For Yourself a Boundary Like This:

I choose to honor God by inviting Him to be the foundation of this relationship.  We will be a couple rooted in Christ and therefore, will live lives that honor Him and will choose to always be a chord of 3 (see Ecclesiastes 4:12).

Continue to #2

Have you ever thought about protecting your relationship with God and your partner by setting a boundary like the one above?  Would you stand by it?

21 thoughts on “4 Boundaries to Set BEFORE Stepping Into A Dating Relationship – Mrs. Lo Tanner”

  1. and that’s why SO many times relationships DO get into issues – cos’ there are no boundaries to begin with

  2. Amen. Boundaries are so important to establish -before you even enter a relationship! If you don’t draw the linesame early on, you’re tempted to get as close as you can or even move them.

  3. Amen to this! We are already talking to our children about how important it is to never marry someone who isn’t grounded in God. There is just too much at stake and part of that is being pulled away from your own faith. Marriage is difficult enough. There has to be a solid foundation and that Godly foundation will hold you together.

    1. Yes! There is nothing more difficult than trying to be “one” while pulling in opposite directions. We MUST be standing on the same foundation and and leading the same direction for our faith and love to blossom like God intended it to.

  4. You should desire someone who looks like God and who loves you for the part of God they see in you. There is no substitute for this kind of love!

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