An Honest Conversation About Identity and Motherhood
As mothers, we do a lot of comforting. It’s just part of motherhood; from kissing boo-boos, to ensuring that things will be okay after heartache, and even making them feel safe after a bad dream. Life can be hectic, but I always stop everything when one of my children need attention from me.
I mean isn’t that what moms do? We can be terribly behind in laundry, the house can be a mess, and we can be in the middle of something really important- but if someone starts crying, we drop it all to go comfort our babies.
I pick them up, doing whatever I can to bring comfort, and try to solve all of their problems. As a mom, I do my best to fix whatever is broken or hurting.
Sometimes, just being there and giving them my attention is enough. They settle right down because they know I am near. Other times, I may be a nurse, a handy woman, or even just a good listener.
But, there are some things that I just can’t do anything about. Sometimes toys can’t be repaired, hurt feelings need more than a simple band-aid, and life lessons are harder to learn when you’re dealing with young kiddos.
“As one whom his mother comforts, so I will comfort you; you shall be comforted in Jerusalem.” Isaiah 66:13
As moms, we want to fix everything. We want to do exactly what our child needs. My sweet children are gifts straight from God and He entrusted me to lead them in the right way. He called me to be their mother, their teacher, their Earthly confident.
I know I’m not perfect, well, at least I know that in my head- my heart is a different story.
There isn’t a mother that’s ever walked the Earth that is perfect. None of us do motherhood perfectly despite what you see on Instagram and Facebook, even those mothers that “look perfect” still falter, they still have the same problems that you and I do, and they still have the same feelings and emotions too.
And in this time where comparison is the true thief of joy, it’s even more important for us to talk about giving ourselves grace as mothers.
Don’t fall for the social media culture.
Our culture pushes us to want perfection and to be sure that everyone knows how amazing we are. I mean, what would social media be without all the pretty pictures that show how incredible our lives are?
But, what about the life that surrounds those pictures? What about the before, the after, the all-consuming emotions that ensued crafting that perfect photo?
And while that’s all nice and dandy, when do we share the reality of motherhood? Isn’t that important too?
Now, I have found great support on social media, it can be an amazing tool. There are mom groups that have helped me connect with other mamas who have similar interests, there are communities where I have made friends and sacred places where I feel like I “belong”.
But we must remember that these little perfect moments are memories. And hiding behind every OOTD, every Insta-pose, each enthralling filter is a mama just like you.
She faces the same obstacles of motherhood that you do and she needs comfort, support, and Christ, too.
We need comforting, too.
I choose modesty and Christian values in all I do, but, it is still so easy to get caught up in this life, thinking we aren’t enough. And it’s okay to admit that without His help, we aren’t.
Remember, God isn’t asking us to be perfect. He isn’t even asking us to do this alone. We need to be comforted, we need help, and that is okay.
Just as a mother comforts her child, God is there to comfort us.
I know that in my own life, I’ve learned that I have to lean on Him to be the mother I need to be. Life makes us feel like we are supposed to have all the answers, know how to fix everything, and get everything right.
But, we can use His great example of a comforter, a friend, a Savior, to be the Christ-centered mamas that He desires us to be and through prayer, fasting, and an ear toward Heaven, striving to be more like Him.
The Love of Motherhood
“Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.” 1 Peter 4:8
Love is our greatest calling. God is love, so when we love our children, our husband, our neighbor, even the people in our world who are hard to love, we are being Christ’s hands and feet.
That same love also makes up for what we don’t do so well. As I said, none of us is perfect. We make mistakes. Sometimes in motherhood, we have hard days. There are definitely times that I know I could have done better.
But, love changes all that. It keeps us.
If we keep loving like Christ and living by and through His word, our sins and mistakes are continually covered.
I love my kids so much. It’s amazing how much I love them. Even in my imperfect life, even through me making mistakes, I never stop loving them. Yet, God loves us even more.
He sees when we are trying. He forgives us when we sin. He’s continually working on us, helping us. And we can always take comfort in the fact that our love is a ministry and when our human, mothering isn’t enough, God is there to carry us. Just like we carry our kids.
Today, I want to encourage you to give yourself grace if you are struggling and accept the love and comfort of Jesus. Find your identity in Christ and not in an imperfect social media mirage.
Use His example as a light, as a road map on your path through motherhood.
Make some time to love on Christ and watch how His grace, His mercy, and His love shines through you and into your mom-identity and transforming your life.