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What does it mean when physical touch is your love language? Or your spouse’s love language? 

For the longest time, I thought physical touch was just a code word for sex. I’d roll my eyes at the idea of it being a love language. It almost seemed manipulative. What I’ve learned over the years is that I was plain wrong. I get questions every Valentine’s Day about this topic, and since I LOVE helping Christian women make holidays meaningful, I thought this would be a good way to shed some light on the topic of Love Languages and physical touch. 

In this article, we’re going to answer the most common questions about the love language of physical touch. You’ll learn about different types of physical touch in relationships and walk away will a solid list of physical touch examples. 

If you find yourself intimidated by the thought that physical touch is your man’s love language hang in there with me.  We’re going to tackle the topic of physical touch as a Love Language and take a realistic look at what that looks like for both you AND him.

Maybe you’re thinking, “my love language is physical touch but my spouse knows nothing about it.” Save this post! It’s full of information that will help you have this conversation with your spouse.

What is the meaning of physical touch? 

How do you should physical touch? 

What Is the Meaning of Physical Touch?

If physical touch is your spouse’s love language it means that your spouse BEST recognizes love through touch.  Those small moments where you’re cuddled on the couch or holding hands, or simply placing your hand on the small of his back – mean a lot to him; likely more than you know. Physical touch is what cements in his mind and heart the reality of your love and appreciation for him. 

NOTE: I say “him” because I primarily write for women, but if you’re wondering if the physical touch love language for him is different than the physical touch love language for her – you’ll be happy to know these principles apply to both.

Is physical touch important in a relationship? If it’s your partner’s love language, yes! Physical Touch may not be your thing, but if your husband responds well to it, you may want to consider putting in the effort. Just like a car can’t get anywhere on an empty gas tank, neither you nor your husband will be able to create the marriage you want when your “love tanks” (as Gary Chapman so delicately puts it in his book The 5 Love Languages)  are empty. That’s part of why it’s so important to know and speak your husband’s love language. Speaking his love language is the only way to keep his love tank full. And he needs you for that.

Do all guys like physical touch? You might assume yes, but the best way to figure out what your husband’s love language actually is, is through observation and conversation. You could also take the physical touch love language test here. 

Why Is Physical Touch So Powerful?

Physical touch is powerful because it’s the one thing you share with your spouse that you don’t share with anyone else. It’s normal to love and encourage people with our words. It’s common to love through actions; helping and serving the people we love. We give gifts every holiday and birthday out of love and appreciation, and quality time is something we crave in many of our relationships. Physical touch though, that’s something exclusive that is only shared within a marriage (or at the very least a romantic relationship). That’s choices like infidelity hurt so much. That’s why physical touch is such a powerful expression of love.

How Do You Show Physical Touch?

If you’re like me, loving through physical touch is not something that comes naturally. I’ve learned through conversation that this is a common issue among Christian women. The church hasn’t always been a place for women to have healthy conversations about sexuality and unfortunately, the evidence of that shows up in marriage; the one relationship we should be experiencing the most freedom. Phylicia Masonheimer addresses this thoroughly in her book Christian Cosmo: The Sex Talk You’ve Never Had. There is such thing as healthy sexuality and Christian women are not exempt from it. We can love Jesus, our husband, our bodies, AND be confident in God’s design for sex and sexuality.

If you’re not there yet, no worries.

Physical touch doesn’t just mean sex. There are plenty of sweet little love touches that are included in this love language. You’ll find them below in this list of physical touch love language ideas for him. If you’re a man reading this article, many of these ideas will double as physical touch love language ideas for her. Simple ideas like these will help you avoid a lack of physical touch in your marriage.

50 Affectionate Ways to Use the Touch Love Language

Click here to pin our list of how to express the physical touch love language.

1. Play with his hair.
2. Hold his hand.
3. Hug more.
4. Kiss often.
5. Cuddle on the couch.
6. Play “footsie” at the table.
7. Rest your head on his shoulders.
8. Let him rest his head in your lap.
9. Prepare a hot bath for him! Incorporate soaps and creams or bath bombs (these ones are super manly) that help his skin and muscles feel good! This one even has a manly scent!
10. Take a bath or shower together.
11. Slow dance – or normal dance if slow isn’t your thing. Just have fun (this one depends a lot on your spouse’s personality, but it does provide a lot of opportunities for a special touch).
12. Rest your hands on the small of his back.
13. Hug him from behind.
14. Kiss his neck.
15. Give his bum a “love tap”
16. Plan an intimate night for just the two of you.
17. Gift him a warm and soft blanket (or whatever texture he likes – something that he would enjoy against his skin) to sit under while you cuddle (or he relaxes) on the couch. 
18. Kiss his forehead.
19. Squeeze his hand when you say goodbye.
20. Greet him at the door with a kiss.
21. Sit in his lap (when the setting is appropriate).
22. Cuddle with him for a few extra minutes in the morning.
23. Initiate sex. Now I know for a lot of women the idea of initiating sex isn’t exactly comfortable. I get it. If you’re struggling with this idea I encourage you to check out Sheila Gregoire’s, “Good Girl’s Guide to Sex. Don’t let the title freak you out. Sheila has got an amazing biblical perspective on sex and healthy sexuality. If you want to learn from anyone, she’s a good choice.24. Place his hand on your tummy or waist when you’re cuddled up together.
25. Touch his arm when you walk past him.
26. Give him a bear hug.
27. Have a “wrestling match”
28. Or a “tickle fight”
29. Cup his face in your hands when you kiss him.
30. Try a head rub! I hear these scalp massagers are perfect for that!
31. Sit close.
32. At restaurants, reach across the table and ask to hold his hand.
33. Walk arm in arm.
34. Hold hands while driving (when it’s safe).
35. Squeeze his hand while you pray for him.
36. Wash his hair and massage his scalp.
37. Wink at him.
38. Foreplay. Yes, I can feel you get squirmish. Let me encourage you by saying your marriage bed is your own and there should be no shame in sexual intimacy with your husband. If you’re feeling like there is, I encourage you to talk about it with your husband. Whatever you choose, set boundaries that keep you both feeling safe and loved. And again I highly recommend Good Girl’s Guide to Sex.
39. Wash his back in the shower.
40. Kiss him like it’s the last kiss you’ll ever get.
41. Lotion his hands and give him a mini spa-like treat.
42. Whisper in his ears the many reasons why you love him.
43. Use a wand massage like this one to massage his back or neck. It incorporates 8 different speed levels and massage patterns for you and your spouse to explore and enjoy. 
44. Use your body language to flirt with him.
45. Grab his arms and wrap them around your waist.
46. Put your hand in his back pocket while you walk together.
47. Enjoy each other’s space.
48. Grab him by the neck and pull him close.
49. PDA (just keep it appropriate).
50. Ask for feedback! Make it a point to ask how your man what sort of touch makes him feel loved. What’s annoying? What’s uncomfortable? What is comforting? What is pleasurable? Take his input into account when initiating touch.

Physical Touch for Singles

Love languages are a part of us well before marriage. Think back on your childhood. Remember those special things your parents did for you that made you feel loved? What about your friendships? Do you recognize the actions that established your friendships? Chances are as you’re thinking about these things you’re realizing your love language was present even as a child.

Gary Chapman recognized this. Because love languages are a communication style we can take ownership of them even in our single years. Check out the 5 Love Languages for Singles to learn about the physical touch love language for singles. 

Gifts for Physical Touch Love Langauge

• Create some physical touch coupons!
• A comfy blanket you can cuddle in together.
• A special oil or lotion to use for a massage.

Want to Learn More About The 5 Love Languages?

• If your spouse feels most loved through one-on-one time and quality conversation, our breakdown of Quality Time will be super helpful for you.
• If he feels most appreciated when he’s got your help and support and partnership, you’ll want to take a look at our Acts of Service guide.
• Is he floored when you surprise him with a fun, thoughtful gift? His love language may be Gifts and you may want to check out our gift guide created specifically for wives who want to love well without breaking the bank.
• Do you find your husband likes to linger in the compliments you give him? He’s probably a Words of Affirmation guy, and this guide will help you navigate that.
• If your man is the “twenty-second hug”, let’s hold hands, sit with me on the couch kind of guy, he’s probably a physical touch man and this article has given you a pretty good head start on how to work with that.

50 Ways to Love Your Husband Using Physical Touch Share on X