50 Thoughtful Acts of Service Ideas
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What do you do if someone’s love language is acts of service?
It’s not uncommon for people to respond to the idea of acts of service with comments like these, “So you basically become his maid?” or “I’m tired of being told it’s my job to serve him? What about me?”
If that’s your first response to the acts of service love language, you’re missing the actual point of what a love language is and what it’s meant to accomplish. Knowing your spouse’s love language helps you love them well and intentionally every day of the year. Most people wait until Valentine’s Day to learn their spouse’s love language and they stop using it shortly after. My hope is that if you’re reading this, you’re in it for the long haul, ready to learn all you can about acts of service.
How do I show acts of service?
What are some acts of service examples?
In this article, you’ll find 50+ examples of acts of service plus tips to help you go the extra mile. Maybe you’re thinking, “my love language is acts of service and I have no idea what to do with that.”
Walk away understanding the acts of service meaning, how to love an acts of service spouse and how to use acts of service at work, with family members, and most importantly, in your marriage!
What Do You Do If Someone’s Love Langauge Is Acts of Service?
To know how to use acts of service we first have to understand the Acts of service love language meaning. If your loved one’s love language is acts of service it means they feel most loved when you go out of your way to make helpful gestures.
Acts of Service seems to be one of the harder love languages to stand behind. It’s as if people hear the word service and run for the hills. I’ll admit, I’ve done it too. But listen, if we’re going to follow God’s example when it comes to demonstrating love, we have got to learn how to humble ourselves and serve others without all the negative thoughts and feelings people associate with serving; our spouse included.
Gary Thomas explains this phenomenally in his book Sacred Marriage. I’ll let him be the one to deliver that message. He does it seamlessly. In the meantime, let’s talk through acts of service actually is and some ways that you can make Acts of Service work for your marriage.
How Do You Show Acts of Service In A Relationship?
In simple terms, the acts of service definition is doing something for someone simply because you know they’ll appreciate it. It is one of the 5 Love Languages described by Dr. Gary Chapman in his best-selling book The 5 Love Languages. I love this love language because it challenges us to be present and observant in our relationships. Essentially Acts of Service are our response to these key questions:
- How can I lift the burden my spouse is carrying?
- What can I do today that will put a smile on my spouse’s face?
- How can I support my spouse in their personal and family goals?
- What is something I can do for my spouse that shows my appreciation for them?
- What can I do to make sure my spouse knows they are taken care of?
The answers can be simple. Maybe have a fresh pot of coffee waiting for him in the morning, cook his favorite meal, or knock a task or two off his “Honey Do” list for him. There are so many things you can do! In fact, I’ve got 50 ideas I’m about to share with you. And the cool thing is, most of them won’t cost you anything but your time (which honestly means the world to an acts of service person).
Learn more about the 5 Love Languages Acts of Service in this book!
Acts of Service Love Language Tips
Here are a couple of tips to help you really nail this whole acts of service thing. These are key for understanding acts of service and how they work.
- Let people notice your efforts on their own. When he notices on his own he’s more likely to see it as love. If we’re always pointing it out, it’s more likely to be received as nagging, manipulation, or even pride. Do it because you love him, not because you want the praise.
- Don’t expect anything in return. It’s easy to do nice things when we know we will get something in return. But if we base our actions on that return we go from showing affection to doing business (exchanging service for reward) and that is not a fun way to run a marriage.
- Pace yourself. You don’t have to do all the things right now. Take a look at what is already on your plate and plan accordingly. Some ideas will be simple enough for you to do in a few minutes. Some you might have to set aside a weekend to do. Take it a day at a time.
- Set reminders. Reminders help us make sure we finish what we started. Follow-through is a big deal for anyone with the acts of service love language.
Keeping these tips in mind will help you love and serve others effectively. Now, what are some acts of service examples you can follow? I’ve got a whole list for you!
50 Practical Acts of Service Examples
How do I show acts of service? Here’s a list of 50 acts of service examples.
1. Fold his laundry
2. Put a towel in the dryer when he goes to take a shower. When he’s done, meet him at the door with a hot towel.
3. Serve him breakfast in bed.
4. Start his coffee for him in the morning & top it off with a sweet love note.
5. Take out the trash for him.
6. Ask him what you can do to make his day easier.
7. Clean out his car.
8. Pick a task from his “Honey Do” list and do it for him.
9. Massage his feet, back, shoulders, etc.
10. Make the bed for him and leave a sweet note on his pillow.
11. Clear his dishes for him when he’s done at dinner.
12. Pick up his dirty socks, without mentioning it to him.
13. Pack his lunch and leave one of these sweet love notes for him.
14. Plan a Guys Night for him.
15. Be quick to step in when he asks for help.
16. Grab his favorite snack from the grocery store.
17. Plan a date night based on his favorite activities.
18. Run a hot bath for him when he gets home from work or just before bed. Bonus points if you remember to add some Epson salts!
19. Schedule his appointments (doctor, dental, etc. ) for him.
20. Help him with the budgeting. Get started with tips from The Busy Budgeter. This girl knows what she’s talking about.
21. Find out what chore he hates the most and do it.
22. Light candles or essential oils in your home on occasion. Use the fragrances he likes.
23. Read the 5 Love Languages and APPLY, APPLY, APPLY!!!
24. Give your sweetie a CHORE FREE day!
25. Fill up the gas tank for your love!
26. Put the kids to bed tonight and let your man have a few extra minutes to himself. According to Shanti Feldhahn of For Women Only, giving your man 15 – 20 minute to himself as soon he gets home or after the family has eaten dinner helps him decompress and transition into the freedom and comfort of “home”
27. Let him sleep in. It’s not lazy if he actually needs the rest. And if he doesn’t really need the rest (and who are we to decide that) allowing him to enjoy it is a blessing. Be a blessing.
28. Help him manage the finances.
29. On a late work night, call in dinner to the office for him.
30. Have warm socks waiting for him when he comes in from a cold workday.
31. Have a cold glass of water, tea, or lemonade waiting for him when he comes in from a hot and sweaty workday.
32. Take him out for an impromptu date night.
33. Have a “pick me up” waiting for him after a hard day at work.
34. Celebrate a recent win (no matter how big or small).
35. Dress up for him! Wear something you know he likes to see you in.
36. Take care of dinner and clean up on your own tonight (or with the help of your kids).
37. Clean up around the house, keep it feeling cozy.
38. Prep dinner for him on a night that you won’t be home for dinner. This cookbook is full of delicious meals you can have ready in 15 minutes or less!
40. Find fun ways to make what he provides financially, stretch.
41. Think of a chore that he hates and go finish it for him.
42. Let him have the last bite of dessert. Bonus if you feed it to him! 😉
43. Date him OFTEN!! Ladies this is key! I shared about this (my personal experience) not too long ago in the Reclaiming Your Marriage Online Event. Even if it’s not a traditional out on the town date. Seriously, get alone together!
44. Ask him what you can do to make your one-on-one time together special?
45. Plan a fun family getaway.
46. Arrange childcare (or be the childcare) for the rest of the kids so he can get some one-on-one quality time with each of them.
47. Help him take care of his body by providing yummy AND healthy meals for him. This cookbook has some great ideas!
48. Follow through!! Remember that “thing” you told him you would take care of? He’s counting on you to follow through. Don’t leave him hanging!
49. Live in a snowy place? Scrape the ice off the car for him & start it for him so it’s warm when he gets in. If you’re a shorty like me, try an ice scraper like this one. You’ll thank me later.
50. Ask, “what can I do to help you relax today?”
Acts of Service Long Distance Tips
Distance makes it harder, but still, acts of service are not impossible if you are in a long-distance relationship. Here are some examples of acts of service long distance.
- Plan a date night. It could be physical, it could be virtual. But the idea is to take time to and make space to spend some time together. Dress up. Have his favorite food delivered to him, pull out a trivia game (20 questions, couples trivia, and spend a few hours together).
- Start a project that you can have finished by the time he gets home and surprise him.
- Make a playlist of his favorite songs or songs that carry sentiment for the both of you.
- Follow through with the small tasks and seemingly mundane tasks. This fosters the feeling of stability which is really important for long-distance couples ESPECIALLY if their love language is acts of service. Keep up with the mail, the plants, the lawn, etc.
- Send him off well. Make sure he has everything he needs.
- Send care packages when he expresses a physical or relational need.
Acts of Service Gifts (Perfect for a Long Distance Care Package!) :
- A favorite snack.
- A letter. I love this “open when” letter idea people have been sharing.
- Some photos.
- His favorite soap.
- Comfy socks.
- A candle is a romantic gesture for while he’s long distance.
- A Card game, word game, or puzzle.
- Something silly.
- Something sentimental.
- A gift that is faith-inspired.
How to Use Acts of Service At Work
Maybe you’re wondering, can the five love languages be used in other relationships and settings? Like work?
The answer is YES!
Acts of service are especially useful in the workplace. A team that serves well is likely to excel. Team members that look out for each other are irreplaceable. What are some reasonable ways to use Acts of service at work?
- Finish your assignments on time.
- Ask how you can be helpful.
- Bring a pick-me-up snack for the team if you know it’s going to be a long day.
- Prepare for the next day BEFORE you leave the office (donuts and coffee, bananas and OJ, chips and soda pop – doesn’t have to be fancy).
- Leave paper trails to help communication go smoothly.
- Send reminders to your team when important events come up.
- Stay on task.
- Make decisions as a team (as often as you can).
- Give your team members opportunities to use their voices and share their ideas.
- Let someone else lead the project and advocate for their success.
Acts of Service to Others
Believe it or not, acts of service are life-giving to the community as well! Friends, neighbors, strangers; can all benefit from us observing and following through with simple acts of service for one another.
- open the door for someone.
- offer to carry groceries or book bags for someone who has their hands full.
- walk the young and elderly across the street.
- Pay someone’s bus fare.
- Buy lunch for a neighbor or the person behind you in the fast-food line.
- Offer to clear the table after lunch or a community meeting.
- Bring water or a snack to friends working extended shifts.
- Write a thank-you note to your community safety officers.
- Provide essentials for local shelters.
- Help a new mom with household chores or childcare.
There are so many practical and simple ways we can use acts of service to others to make a difference.
When you have the ability to do good, do it. Service is the language of love.
What Are the Other Love Languages?
According to Gary Chapman, there are 5 Love Languages:
- Acts of Service
- Physical Touch
- Quality Time
- Words of Affirmation
- Gifts
I have a friend who says prayer is the 6th love language and I 100% agree. That is love on a kingdom level.
I hope this list has helped inspire some new ways to love your Acts of Service husband! Although this is an ok starting point, you know your spouse best, work with what you know. What things can you do for Him that you know would make him feel loved and appreciated? Make a list! And then start doing! Don’t be too proud to serve the man you love!
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This is a great list Lo! thanks for sharing it with us
Hi there, great list! Do you have lists for the other love languages?
Absolutely I do! If you search “Love Languages” on my website a post will appear for each love language.
Thank you so much for sharing. My husband is Acts of Service, I run a business and it has really taken off and I can see his frustration in not feeling loved. This list really helps me a lot.. thank you
So glad you found it helpful! Cheering you on in your marriage!