This content may contain affiliate links. As an Amazon Associate, I earn on qualifying purchases at no additional cost to you. Learn more at the bottom of this page or read my full disclosure policy.

Sharing This!

How to Find Yourself: The Christian Woman’s Guide

For some it’s simple. For many more, discovering who you are on a spiritual level can feel like a life-long tug-of-war. I know this feeling well. I lost myself in high school, attempted to re-create myself in college, and had a complete identity crisis in my early years of motherhood. Discovering your true self; not just the top layer but the core of who you are can be a challenge. If you’re reading this post, I’m assuming you have lots of questions.

If you’re feeling lost and unsure about who you are this article will teach you how to find yourself again.

If you’re starting from scratch and have no idea who you are in terms of identity, this article will walk you through how to connect with yourself spiritually.

We’re also going to work through some of the basics like:

• What is spiritual self?
• How to find your true self.
• How do you connect with your spiritual side?
• How to find yourself when you’re lost.

But here’s the kicker… we’re going to take these questions and answer them according to the only source of unfailing wisdom available to us; the Bible. I’m challenging you right now to stick with me. Why? More than anything else there is hope and freedom that comes with knowing yourself as the person God created and intended for you to be. It is the best way to find yourself.

I’m going to make a pretty bold statement. Ready for it? Our world is in an identity crisis. We don’t know who we are, much less what we were created for. Even the most spiritual among us struggle with knowing who they are outside of their work. There’s no shame in wondering, but at some point, you have to stop wondering, put on your Sherlock Holmes hat and figure it out. Here’s how you can start.

How to Find Yourself Spiritually

Before we dig too deep into this, I think it’s really important that we set this absolute foundation.

You. Have. A Maker.

For some people this realization is frustrating. It takes from the idea that people are sovereign and life is our design. But when you know Jesus, this truth is as peaceful and freeing as the cool breeze dancing on a warm summer day. We have a Maker. He knit us together and He did it with intention and for a purpose.

I love how beautifully this is stated in the Bible.

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.” I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Psalm 139:13

The only way to know who you really are and what you were created for is to get to know the God who created you. Without this foundation, every hope you lean on will mislead you.

One of the traps I fell into in college was the idea that I needed to know who I was outside of my relationship with God. Can you relate? Maybe you’re wondering how do I look deeper into myself? The truth is, the more you focus on creating your own identity and finding answers within yourself, the more lost you will become. To acknowledge what you were created for, you must also acknowledge your Creator. If I try to separate who I am spiritually from the rest of my being, I will miss the identity mark every single time, because who I am is completely wrapped up in who God is. God is not just a fragment of our lives. He encompasses all of it. That is the change that takes place in us when Jesus becomes our Lord. Paul delivers this same message in his letter to the new Christians in Ephesus. You can find it in the Bible in Ephesians 4:21-24,

“If indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.”

To fully get to know yourself in light of who God created you to be, you have to be all in. That means recognizing our need for Him in every area of our lives. It also means being willing to see ourselves as He sees us.

What Does the Bible Say About Self Discovery?

The idea that our identity is up to us is one that’s sown into minds as young and as early as Kindergarten. One of the first questions they ask our kids at kindergarten round-ups is, “what do you want to be when you grow up?” Our answers may change over the years, but I think it’s fair to say a big part of our lives leading into adulthood is spent pursuing these aspirations; defining ourselves, “becoming” who we want to be. The truth is, who we are is not anchored in the jobs we have or the things we accomplish but wholly in the God that we live for.

“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” Ephesians 2:10

Jesus was a carpenter. That occupation described a small portion of His life, but His identity and purpose came from outside of Himself. Even before He stepped into the role of teacher, disciple-maker, and Lord; He was given an identity that superseded every occupation He would have and financial or material contribution He would make.

The same is true of you and me. It is not our occupation(s) that gives us our identity; but rather the God we serve. Our life is hidden in Him (see Colossians 3:3).

A lot of people use the term “spiritual self” to describe the power or divinity within them. They spend their lives trying to manifest and discover this power. What separates Christianity from these other religions is that we aren’t seeking a higher-self or even higher power. We’re pursuing a relationship with the One sovereign God. We don’t pursue because of the might that He has, but because of the truth of who He is.

We are not seeking spirituality on our own terms or identifying with spirituality the way most people would. Our focus is on who God is, who He says we are, and living a life that uplifts Him.

Who we are is anchored in the God we live for; not the jobs we have or the things we accomplish. Share on X

Finding Your Purpose As A Christian

Do you know what I love about our God-given identity? We can wear this crown every day and still carry out every other task, passion, or assignment God has given us. There is no taking this crown off. From the moment we say, “I do” to Jesus, this identity is ours.

Our work, our passions, the various roles we fill on a day to day basis; are God-appointed opportunities for us to walk in your God-ordained purpose. Those are opportunities for us to put Ephesians 2:10 to work and accomplish the good works He’s called us to. Those positions and circumstances position us to carry out The Great Commission (quoted below) in a real, personal, and tangible way.

Jesus said,

“Go ye therefore, and teach all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost: Teaching them to observe all things whatsoever I have commanded you: and, lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world. Amen.” Matthew 28:19-20

How Do I Develop Myself Spiritually?

In Christian circles, spiritual development is a term we use to describe growth in our relationship with God and understanding of Christian faith and principles. If you’re a new Christian you’re probably wondering where to start your spiritual journey. The most important aspect of our faith is our relationship with Jesus. This is a relationship that is nurtured through disciplines like prayer (talking with and listening to God) and studying the Bible.

What’s cool about studying the Bible is that as you immerse yourself in its pages God will show you more and more of Himself, His character, and His love for you. In addition, He’ll show you who you are in His eyes. After that, there’s no going back. That kind of love is impossible to match. When you become confident in God’s love for you it changes the way you see others and yourself. If you’ve ever struggled with how to love yourself knowing who you are in Christ and how deeply you are loved is one of the most freeing truths you’ll encounter. I know this from experience.

Disciplines That Help You Develop Spiritually

I mentioned how important prayer and studying the Bible are. If lists overwhelm you start with those two disciplines. As you mature in faith your relationship with God strengthens as well and naturally flows into these other disciplines. If you’re someone who thrives with lists, below is a shortlist of spiritual disciplines that will help you develop a strong relationship with Jesus:

1. Prayer. In simple terms, prayer a way of talking to and hearing from God. It’s one of those things that you can only learn by actually doing. If you’re new to prayer or have a limited understanding of what prayer is, I highly recommend the book, A Woman’s Guide to Steadfast Prayer. It’s a basic prayer guide that helps the everyday woman understand the purpose and power of prayer in their life.
2. Bible Study. Whenever you’re feeling lost, the Bible is the place to turn. It’ll remind who God is, the truth about how much He loves you, and the identity He gives you as a follower of Jesus. If Bible study is something you need help with, we’ve got an entire page dedicated to helping women get starting with simple Bible study.
3. Meditate On the Bible. This is something I want to be clear about. When I use the word meditate, I am not talking about Easter religious practices or those associated with yoga. The goal of most meditation practices is to “empty your mind.” As a Christian, the goal of meditation is to fill it with the words of the Bible. To meditate means to consider. When we meditate on the Bible we’re considering it and the wisdom in it as we go about our days. Because we live our lives based on the truth of the Bible, knowing the Bible and having it in our minds and hearts is not only helpful in terms of comfort; it’s productive. It keeps us making choices that we know God would be honored by.
4. Fellowship. For some, this means finding a local church. For others, it means finding a life group (church at home – small group style). Whatever the case it’s important to gather, worship, learn and pray with other Christians.
5. Worship. Worship is the practice of acknowledging who God is, telling Him, and thanking Him for it in word, heart, and deed. Sometimes this looks like worship songs. Other times this looks like prayer. It can even look like serving others.
6. Service. One of the ways we show God we love Him is by serving and taking care of the people that He loves. This is also the primary way people learn about God’s love. It’s rare to find people who love God because they were scolded into it. Most people who decide to follow Jesus make that choice as a result of experiencing God’s love. God’s love changes everything.

If you’re feeling lost, the best way to find yourself is to set your eyes on Jesus.

If you’re wrestling with how to love yourself, the best place to start is by exploring the depths of God’s love for you. He lays it all out for you in the Bible.

And if you’re wondering how to start your relationship with God, all it takes is an invitation. Ask Him to be the Lord of your life and to teach you what it means to be His, live for Him, and be loved by Him.

Tweet this!

How to Find Yourself Spiritually Share on X