Guarding Your Mouth | Free Bible Study

You can realize the importance of guarding your mouth through this one simple quote.

“We choose our clothes more carefully than we do our words. My friends, this should not be.” – Rabbi Joseph Telushkin (Words that Hurt, Words that Heal)

I’d love to say think this isn’t the case, but sadly, I find Rabbi Telushkin’s statement holds true. And he’s right, this should not be. Words are powerful. “Guard your mouth” isn’t just a quote to throw around, but wisdom to live by. Though our words don’t produce material life – they can and do produce spiritual life and death. Words are evidence of what is in our hearts. We put a lot of effort into cleaning ourselves up on the outside. What God is most concerned about is cleaning us up on the inside.

The Lord Himself drives this point home when He is talking to Samuel about the newly appointed King David in 1 Samuel chapter 16. Samuel is examining the appearances of the sons of Jesse noting their stature and strength thinking surely God would choose one of them to be the new King of Judah. The Lord responds to Samuel’s assumptions with this,

Do not look at his appearance or at his physical stature, because I have refused him. For the Lord does not see as man sees; for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7

God is concerned with our words because our words reflect the condition of our hearts.

Guarding Your Mouth Is Important Because…

Our words are the fruit of what is in our hearts. Jesus shares this lesson with His disciples in Luke chapter 6, shortly after His teaching of the Beatitudes. He says,

For a good tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. For every tree is known by its own fruit. For men do not gather figs from thorns, nor do they gather grapes from a bramble bush. A good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth good, and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart brings forth evil. For out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks. Luke 6:43-45

Have you ever wondered why lying is such a big deal? We like to think, if it doesn’t actually hurt somebody it’s not a big deal. But it IS a big deal, not because of what is hidden, but because of what is revealed; the condition of our heart. We can’t live for Jesus if deception is at the root of our hearts.

The same goes for hateful and hurtful words. Those are more likely to impact the people on the receiving end of them, but they are also a reflection of what is in our hearts. We can not align with hate and deception and expect to reap eternal life.

To guard our words effectively, we must diligently guard our hearts.

Keep your heart with all diligence four out of it springs the issues of life. Put away from you a deceitful mouth, and put perverse lips far from you. Proverbs 4:23-24

Life and Death Are In the Power of the Tongue

The fact that this world was created through words is an extremely sobering thought. It reminds me how powerful our words are; and yet, we are so quick to speak flippantly. Guarding your mouth isn’t just an important practice. It’s a lifegiving one. 

The word tongue in the Bible usually means speech (what comes out of your mouth) or language. Our words sow either one of two seeds; life or death. Seeds can only produce a harvest of their own likeness. What we sow with our words, we create more of. With our words He has given us the ability to create with our words. We can edify, encourage, inspire, and uplift. With the same tongue we can also tear down, condemn, humiliate, and uproot. 

King Solomon was not kidding when He said, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21

Romans 10:10 reads,

For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you profess your faith and are saved. Romans 10:10 (NLT)

Just as we shouldn’t be double-minded in faith (acting in a way that opposes our beliefs) scripture warns we shouldn’t be double-minded in speech either (see James 3:10). This is why it is so essential to guard our hearts and to guard our mouths. Our words are spiritual weapons and they have an eternal impact.

He who guards his mouth preserves his life, but he who opens wide his lips shall have destruction. Proverbs 13:3

Maybe you’ve read all this and you’re wondering, how can I learn to control my tongue? I’ve got a quick list of 6 habits that have seriously helped me tame my tongue and be intentional about the words I speak. 

Just as we shouldn't be double-minded in faith scripture warns we shouldn't be double-minded in speech either. Share on X

These 6 Habits Will Help You Guard Your Mouth 

1. Slow Down.
2. Use Restraint.
3. Listen to understand, not necessarily to agree.
4. Speak Truth.
5. Speak only what is helpful.
6. Pray it through before you speak it out.

Slow down.

It’s normal to react to hurt and offense with anger and unfiltered words. Normal does not always equate to wisdom. Be patient and intentional with your words. Don’t interrupt. Quick to listen, slow to speak, slow to get angry (see James 1:19). 

Something that has helped me tremendously is giving myself physical cues:

• Putting a finger over my mouth reminds me to wait for the right opportunity to speak instead of interrupting to interject my viewpoints.
• Folding my hands in my lap reminds to slow down, step out of my emotions, and think before responding.

Learn more about dealing with anger from a biblical perspective here.

Guarding your mouth means practicing restraint.

You don’t always have to have an immediate response. Silence can in fact be golden, which is good news for those of you (read: us) with the goal of guarding your mouth. We don’t always have to say something. If we want to represent God well, we must learn to discern when to speak and when to be silent. We can’t accept every invitation to an argument that we receive.

If anyone among you thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless.
James 1:26.

What does it mean to bridle your tongue? It means to control it, restrain it, or hold it in check. Sometimes that means choosing the relationship over the conversation stepping back from the argument for a while. Here are some classy examples of guarding your mouth and using restraint.

• I hear what you’ve said, and I can tell this is important to you. Let’s talk about this after we’ve both had time to think through what you’ve shared?
• I love you too much to let this disagreement come between us. Can we agree to peacefully disagree?
• There’s a lot I want to say but I’m not sure it would be beneficial right now. Can we pick this us another day?

And if the conversation has taken a disrespectful turn guarding your mouth can sound like this:

• This conversation just took a disrespectful turn. I love you and am happy to talk through this again when we can both address each other respectfully. For now, I’m done.
• I love you, but I’m not going to fight with you. If you’re open to talking about other things I’m here for it. If not, I should probably head out.

Aim for understanding, not agreement.

Even between Christians, there will be disagreements. If the goal of listening is to focus more on rebuttal than it is understanding; the likely hood of the conversation being fruitful is slim. Learn to genuinely listen. Hear people out. Aim to understand. You may not get everyone on your side, but you will have demonstrated that you love and respect them. They will have learned you’re a stand-up gal and it’s likely they’ll be open to more conversation in the future.

• Ask questions that encourage discussion.
• Ask questions with the goal of understanding others.
• Actually, listen.

Guarding your mouth means speaking only what is true.

 If it’s not true, don’t let it slip through your lips. There is no wisdom apart from the truth so guarding your mouth requires us to speak only what is true. We can not be double-minded when it comes to our speech. Your ability and commitment to the truth also play a huge role in the development of Christ-like character (see Philippians 4:8).

• Don’t engage in gossip.
• Avoid exaggerating.
• If you don’t know it to be true, save it for the prayer room.

Speak only what is helpful.

The last thing you want to do in the heat of the moment is to add fuel to the fire. The last thing you want to do in the calm of the storm is to create waves. If what you’re about to say is not helpful, it may be best to keep it to yourself.

• Steer clear of criticism.
• Avoid sarcasm.
• Use your words to point to hope.
• Get comfortable with the phrase, “can you help me understand?”. It works a whole lot better than criticizing what you don’t understand.
• Check your pride at the door.
• Keep your jokes wholesome.

You’ll find tons of good tips and lessons on this in the book Words That Hurt, Words That Heal.

Pray it through before you speak it out.

The best move you can make when guarding the words of your mouth is to run it past God before you say it to people. If you’re uncomfortable saying it to God you may want to reconsider speaking it to people he loves.

If you’re unsure about the topic of prayer or how to talk to God, A Woman’s Guide to Steadfast Prayer provides the most simple and hopeful perspective on prayer you’ll ever find. It’s definitely worth checking out!

 

Prayers and Bible Verses About Guarding Your Mouth

Curious what the Bible has to say about words? These Bible verses show us why it’s better to put a guard over your mouth than it is to “be in the moment” and let our words run away with us. Most of them are from Proverbs. You’re going to love what Proverbs says about words.

“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” Proverbs 16:32
Prayer: Lord, when I read Proverbs 16:32 I get the impression that you are more impressed with my self-control than you are with my physical might. I don’t always walk in self-control as I should. I’m asking for your heart. Thank You, God, for nurturing that seed of self-control in me. 

“He who would love life and see good days, let him refrain his tongue from evil and his lips from speaking deceit.” 1 Peter 3:10
Prayer: Lord, teach me to refrain from speaking when the words I want to speak do not honor you. Let what flows from my mouth (and ultimately my heart) be rooted in truth.

“A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” Proverbs 25:11
Prayer: Lord, Your word tells us that a word fitly spoken is of great weight and value. Today I ask you for the wisdom to know when to speak and when to be silent. And when it is my time to speak, I pray for the wisdom to hear what it is you have for me to share. Thank you for giving me words that rightly fit the ear of the hearer and the circumstance we are faced with. 

Prayers and Bible Verses About the Power of the Tongue

“The lips of the righteous know what is acceptable, but the mouth of the wicked what is perverse.” Proverbs 10:32
Prayer: Lord, teach me what is acceptable according to Your Word. Guide me in the ways you call righteous.

“There is one who speaks like the piercings of a sword, but the tongue of the wise promotes health.” Proverbs 12:18
Prayer: Lord, Your word tells us that the tongue of the wise promotes health. Today I am asking for your wisdom to guide the words of my mouth. Help me to bring life and health to others through the words that I speak.

“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
Prayer: It can be easy to get caught in the heat of the moment and let my words run with my emotions. In doing that, I misrepresent you and Your love. Help me remember the wisdom you have given me here. Teach me to respond in your love and not my frustration.

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” Proverbs 18:21
Prayer: Lord, with my words you have given me the power to encourage life. Through the help of your Holy Spirit, I choose to walk in self-control and to let your Spirit rule over the words of my mouth. I choose to love life and to speak in a way that portrays that, always.

Our words and our thoughts provide us the opportunity to check the condition of our hearts every single day. My hope is the above tips, prayers, and Bible verses about guarding your mouth give you a solid place to start with your goal of speaking life-giving words. For more Bible study talks encouragement be sure to sign up for our email community below.

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