Living Fiercely As Single Christian Women

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Are you curious about how to live with purpose as a single Christian woman? This article by Allison of All Things Allison Marie can answer some of your questions! Allison Marie loves inspiring women to find joy, purpose, and contentment, in their current season of life. Read her advice for single Christian women below.

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I am convinced that this generation of single Christian women isn’t thriving because we do not understand their purpose.

Think about it. If you knew your purpose and chased after it wholeheartedly, you would thrive because you are doing what you were made to do.  Would your life be perfect? Definitely not. But a meaningful, purposeful life is so much more important than living a perfect life. Agree??

I know there’s not a lot of godly advice for singles out there. This isn’t a topic that churches teach about often. They put plenty of emphasis on marriage what it is to be a good Christian wife and mother – and maybe that’s part of where the pressure for Christian singles to be in a relationship comes from.

Today I want to offer encouragement for singles. You’re going to learn 6 ways you can live with purpose as a single woman and thrive; not just survive, during this season of your life!

The Real Mission Of Women In the Church

How can a Christian woman be happy and single? One of the biggest myths men and women in general fall for is that contentment comes from romantic relationships. Although relationships should be a source of happiness in our lives; happiness should be the product of a relationship; not the goal of it. Regardless of gender our joy and contentment come from God; not man. 

If you are Christian and single and struggling with contentment, don’t think that getting into a romantic relationship will solve all your problems. More than likely, that mentality will create more problems instead of reducing them.

It’s ok to want to be married. Marriage is beautiful.

It’s also ok to be single, satisfied, and waiting on the Lord. 

In both situations, it’s important to understand that our biggest priority whether married or single is to tend to the work of God’s kingdom. Being single in the church does not change that.

Does the Bible Say It’s Better to Be Single?

Another myth surrounding the topic of single Christian women’s struggles is that it’s better to be single than it is to be married. This concept originated with a statement Paul made in his letter to the Christian church in Corinth. Paul was addressing the issue of lust in the church. He wrote,

But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1 Corinthians 7:8-9

Paul was single. He saw this as a massive advantage because it allowed Him to focus on sharing the gospel and building God’s kingdom without the added responsibility of tending to a wife and a family. He could go when God said to go because He didn’t have ties to a family. So in his eyes, it was better to remain single than to marry.

Paul also recognized that in some cases “it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”  Paul operated in a level of self-control that the men and women of Corinth were struggling to match. They desired to be physically intimate with one another, and the temptation was becoming too much. In response to this concern, Paul wrote,

…It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.
1 Corinthians 7:1-3

Paul advised it was healthier to marry and enjoy intimacy within the confines of marriage than it would be to let temptation get the best of them.

There’s a list of single women in the Bible who accomplished amazing things.

• Rahab – who aided the Hebrews spies and helped the Hebrew army conquer Jericho.
• Mary Magdelene – she traveled and ministered with Jesus.
• Anna – a widowed prophet who declared Jesus as the Messiah.
• Tabitha (also known as Dorcas) – she played a part in the growth of the New Testament church.

There are also many married women who accomplished great things for the Lord:

• Mariam – she was a Hebrew prophet during the time of Moses who prophesied the deliverance of Israel.
• Deborah  –  an Old Testament mom, judge, and war hero.
• Esther – Her marriage wasn’t one sparkled romance but God still used it to position her for the job of saving Jewish people.
• Abigail – Her quick thinking saved her and her and her people from the wrath of David.

Relationship status is not a deterrent for God. He uses women on both ends of the equation to do incredible things.

6 Pieces of Advice for Single Christian Women

Whether single or married our mission is still the same, to know Him, live for Him, and make Him known. Confusion enters when we lose sight of this ultimate goal. I’ve got 6 tips for you that will help you make the most of the season you’re in while keeping this goal front and center. 

1. Be about the Kingdom
2. Cling to Jesus
3. Don’t let society put you in a box
4. Cultivate an others-focused mentality
5. Live in community
6. Have fun.

Be About the Kingdom

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

There are a couple of different verses in the Bible that can sum up our purpose in life. Matthew 6:33 is one of them. Notice it doesn’t say, “put yourself out there, find a guy, get married, and voila!” Not that there is anything wrong with the desire to be married. Marriage is a good thing, but when we seek “good things” with more fervency than we seek Him, our priorities are out of order. Our purpose in life is to seek first the Kingdom and allow our lives to reflect that, that’s when we begin truly living the purposeful life God intended for us. We are kingdom builders.

If you are struggling to see what that looks like for you as a single Christian woman pray and seek wisdom (James 1:5) about what God has specifically planned for your life!

Cling to Jesus

There are plenty of people who accomplish good things without having a relationship with God. My prayer is that they would come to know Jesus and cling to Him. A life without Jesus is always lacking. The best way to begin accomplishing the things God has created you for is to start with the understanding that God created you to be in a constant and eternal relationship with Him. We learn this as we examine the account of creation and Adam and Eve’s time in the Bible. Sin tried to disrupt this eternal relationship. Jesus bridged the gap. Now the best move we can make with our lives is to commit them to live for Him. Cling to Jesus.

He will be your biggest confidant, best friend, comforter, and safe spot.  So go to Him with everything. Trust Him with your life. Seek His guidance.

And just a tip: prayer, studying the Bible, worship music – all key to increasing intimacy with God.

If you’re new or need help with studying the Bible you can get TONS of free Bible Study tips and resources here. 

If you’re curious about prayer and want to learn more about how to pray, A Woman’s Guide to Steadfast Prayer is a really encouraging and approachable book on prayer.

Don’t let society keep you in a box.

Satan likes to keep us in a box. He spouts lies about singleness that keep us from being content with where God has us. I’ve fallen for them. When I brought it up to the single Christian ladies in my community many of them admitted that they had struggled with those lies as well.

It is almost impossible to truly live a purposeful life if you are clinging to lies.  It’s truth and truth alone that sets us free and gives us the freedom to walk with purpose! With the help of my Instagram community and a few of my own experiences, I was able to compile and debunk a list of lies single Christian women.

Cultivate an Others-Focused Mentality

It is hard to focus on feeling sorry for yourself or finding a partner when you are focusing on others!  I have found this to be so true in my own life. This doesn’t mean you should neglect to take proper care of yourself. And I’m certainly not advocating that you take on the responsibilities of everyone around you. I am suggesting on the other hand that you cultivate a heart of service within your community. Serving others is such a huge part of sharing God’s love. Jesus set that example Himself in Matthew 20:28,

…just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many. Matthew 20:28

Find ways to serve in your community, church, neighborhood, or even just serving your family and friends!  If done with a good attitude, it will bless you more than it blesses them.

Live in Community

God created us to live in community (Galatians 6:2), and Proverbs 17:17 tells us that iron sharpens iron.  As a single woman, please don’t isolate yourself!  You need godly people in your life.

Finding friends and community isn’t easy, I know.  However, it is worth the effort! So maybe find a church with a good young adult Bible study, try out a new hobby where you can meet new people, and just reach out to people that you’d love to be friends with!

Have fun!

I always love to include this piece of advice for single Christian women!  Singleness does not have to equal boring. It can be so fun!

Don’t put off bucket-list items for when you are married.  You don’t know when or if that will happen. Instead, go on that trip you’ve always wanted to take. Go skydiving if that’s your thing (I’ll watch from the ground haha). Take a class you would enjoy or benefit from.  Treat yourself to a nice meal once in a while.

You don’t have to feel deprived as a single woman! Enjoy the life that God has given you and take the opportunity to share His love with people as you do. Love where you’re at. Love who He created you to be. 

Ladies, I hope that these tips help you to truly live out your purpose!  I know being single isn’t always easy, but the effort to thrive is always worth it.

In this with you,
Allison Marie

You may also appreciate A Heartfelt Letter to All the Single Girls (From a Single Girl).