Being A Godly Friend: What Does the Bible Say About Friendship?

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What is a good friend according to the Bible?

When I look back at the friends that I’ve had throughout my life I can tell you right now not all of them were Christians. Some were. Some wore the title but didn’t live the life, and others were very blatant and bold in their choice to not believe or simply not to care.

I would never shut down a friendship due to a difference in beliefs. That’s not God’s love. I can say, though, that the friendships I’ve had in my life that have been the most life-giving have been ones that followed God’s design for friendship.

How do we choose good friends?
What are the characteristics of godly friendships?

These are a few of the common questions out there about biblical friendship. Let’s you and I see for ourselves. In this post, we’re going to explore what a good friendship looks like according to the Bible. Plus answers to hard questions like, What does the Bible say about friendship with unbelievers? Included in this post is a free printable Bible Lesson including Bible verses about friendship and love that you can use to reflect and study on your own.

What Is Friendship According to the Bible?

In the secular world, the word friend gets thrown around like it’s nothing. If we know their name and they aren’t your enemy, they’re a friend. We calculate in extremes. The Bible however takes a different stance on friendship.

The word “friend” in Scripture carries a significant amount of weight. A friend is more than someone that we know or someone that we get along with. Especially in the context of Christianity.

Friendship is intimate.
It requires diligence and character.
The expectations are high.
Not everyone will be able to fill these shoes.

And the thing is, it’s not people who set this standard; it’s God; which means the expectations of this relationship can’t be watered down or altered. God created it, so He gets to define it and as His followers, we submit to His design.

Because friendship is a two-way street, these aren’t just expectations we hold others to; these are expectations that we ourselves aim to fulfill. We’ll touch on the topic of what makes a good friend shortly, but first, let’s look at what the Bible says about choosing friends.

What does the Bible say about choosing friends?

God designed friendship to be an intimate relationship that is kept close to the heart. That means we have to be wise about who we allow to fill that role in our lives. Because the truth is, not everyone needs access to the intimate details of your life. Not everyone can be trusted with them. A friend will become someone that you can trust we the hard, messy, hurtful, joyful, trying, and exciting parts of your life. Because of that, we need to be wise in who we open ourselves up to.

In addition to that, friends hold key places of influence in our lives. They’re the ones we run to for help, counsel, comfort, encouragement, and direction.

I remember a proverb from King Solomon,

“He who walks with the wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed.”
Proverbs 13:20

In his letters to the Corinthians Paul teaches,

“Bad company corrupts good character.”
1 Corinthians 15:33

For these reasons, when it comes to choosing our friends we need to use discernment. We should always be a friend, but we shouldn’t assume that every person we encounter is prepared to do friendship God’s way. The truth is many aren’t. So be discerning.

Okay, so we know a good friend is a blessing, and we know to be careful about the friends and company we choose. Still, we have the questions, what does it actually mean to be a good friend?

Click here for the Bible Lesson and printable list of Bible verses about friendship (no strings attached)!

Characteristics of A Good Friend According to the Bible

It’s nearly impossible to take a love and friendship as great as God’s and try to replicate it. God’s friendship is perfect. Ours is not.

BUT there are things we can do to become the friend God asks us to be. It starts with listening to Holy Spirit and being mindful of the characteristics of a godly friend.

What are 5 qualities of godly friendships?

Learn characteristics of godly friendship through the list of Bible verses about friendship (below). Visit the next section for proverbs about friendship.

• A friend is a source of help (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 and Galatians 6:2)
• Forgive (Colossians 3:13)
• They’ll encourage you with godly ambition (Philippians 2:3)
• Prioritizes unity (Psalm 133:1)
• Speaks the truth with love and kindness (Ephesians 4:15)
• Build each other up (1 Thessalonians 5:11)
• Honors (Romans 12:10)
• Is hospitable (1 Peter 4:8)
• Loves sacrificially (John 15:13)
• Will encourage you in Christ and discourage you from anything that grieves Him (James 4:4)

Proverbs About Friendships

• A friend will have the hard conversations with you (Proverbs 27:5-6)
• Is loyal (Proverbs 27:10 and Proverbs 18:24)
• Friends will counsel you with godly wisdom (Proverbs 19:20)
• Is reliable (Proverbs 25:13)

A True Friend Brings You Closer to God.

Friends are encouragers. The friendships that are built on a shared love for Jesus have a way of speaking positively into our lives when we need it most. They aren’t concerned with flattery, but they will uplift you with truth and love. They’re eager to pull out the best in you while understanding that perfection is far from you.

When an issue arises a true friend responds with truth absent of condemnation. Correction from them always points you back to the grace of God. They respect and value accountability (accountability is hugely important to our Christian walk). 

These are the sorts of friends we should aim to fellowship with on a regular basis.

If I could sum up the character of a godly friend in one phrase it would be, that a true friend brings you closer to god and encourages you in the ways of God.

Sidenote (and shameless plug): If you’re looking for a solid Bible study about friendship, We Saved You A Seat by Lisa-Jo Baker is phenomenal! I highly recommend it!

Characteristics of A Bad Friend According to the Bible

For us to understand what a good friend is and is not we have to understand God’s design for friendship. A godly friend will do friendship God’s way. There may be other friendships in your life where the relationship with God isn’t a common factor. Those aren’t necessarily bad friendships. I’ll explain this more when we answer the question, what does the Bible say about friendship with unbelievers.

Sometimes friendships end because our circumstances change. Sometimes friendships end because character changes.

Bad friends are “friends” that have zero respect for your relationship with God and make a habit of persuading you away from godly living. There are plenty of Bible verses about friendships ending that help us know when walking away is a good choice.

Below are the characteristics of a bad friend according to the Bible.

• Pride & Selfishness – When we are the focus of our life and ambitions we rarely have the desire to pursue God and His kingdom (see Matthew 6:33).
• Manipulation or lack of honesty – A godly relationship will not exist without honesty.
• Unwilling to listen or listening to argue (see James 1:19).
• Their values are shaped by the priorities world (see Romans 12:1-3)
• They elevate “their truth” over the actual truth. (see Romans 12:1-3).
• Persistent gossip. Learn more about the dangers of gossip here.
• They entice you to do what you know is wrong (Proverbs 1:10 and Matthew 5:30). 

If King Solomon is right and bad company corrupts good character (see Proverbs 18:24) it’s probably best to avoid building friendships with people who consistently bring these behaviors to the table.

What Does the Bible Say About Friendship With Unbelievers

There are plenty of people in the world that add joy and fun to our lives even though they don’t believe in Jesus. Some would say that’s enough to cross their name off the friendship list. I strongly disagree. How can we expect to reach people with the Good News of Jesus if we disconnect from everyone who believes differently than we do?

When it comes to being friends with unbelievers (or anyone but specifically unbelievers), its important to remember that the goal isn’t just to be amicable. The goal is to be a light that leads others to the truth of the gospel and the love of God. If you can hold fast to that – be the friend.

Speak the truth in love.
Offer sound counsel.
Be kind.
Have their best interest in mind.
Advocate for them.
Look for the gold in them.

Be the friend – but make sure you have other friends and mentors that can keep you accountable to your faith and what you believe. And in all your doing, stay with the truth.

When Jesus said, “Go and make disciples of all nations” (see Matthew 28:19-20) He wasn’t asking us to stay in Christian bubbles and let the rest of the world fend for themselves. In fact He requires us to love people. That means meeting them where they are at and showing them the love and faithfulness of God.

Every relationship we have is a ministry opportunity. It’s our chance to be a friend, by demonstrating the love of the greatest friend (that would be God).

Some find this perspective hard to reconcile based on what the Bible says about loving the world. If you haven’t already, I highly recommend studying for yourself what the Bible says about loving the world. For the sake of clarity in this article, I’ll briefly share what I found when I studied for myself.

What does the Bible say about friendship with the world?

In the Bible phrase “friendship with the world” is used to describe our relationship with the ways of the world. James uses this phrase in his letter to the tribes of Israel.

…Do you not know that friendship with the world is enmity with God? Whoever therefore wants to be a friend of the world makes himself an enemy of God.
James 4:4

He writes this in response to contentions that started between the tribes due to jealousy over material and worldly things. This was no small matter. Theft, murder, adultery, covetousness – these things were happening among the people because they were so concerned with feeding their own pleasures they lost sight of God’s ways and started living according to the standards of their own wants and the nations around them.

You may not be out stealing, murdering, or committing adultery; but those aren’t the only ways to compromise your relationship with God. God wants friends who are all in for Him and will abide in truth even when it pits them against the system. The standards of truth, justice, and goodness are set for us through God’s teaching in the Bible.

In His letter to the Christians in Rome Paul teaches,

And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
Romans 12:2

When a person is friends with the world it means they have elevated the world’s standard of truth (which is nothing more than a vacuum of lies) over THE TRUTH (which is the only way to know God and eternal life).

That’s NOT what God wants for us.

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. John 14:6

Because life comes through Him, His hope is that we would choose friendship with Him.

Print this Bible Lesson!

Our printable Bible lessons are perfect for personal study or small groups! Click here to download and print the Understanding Godly Friendships Bible Lesson for free!

Find more printable lessons on our Bible Lessons Page! 

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